A father's life
Sunday, March 26, 2006
I had not been able to reach him for several days. That in and of itself was not unusual. Yesterday, I reached my mother's health, Sasha, who they refer to as "the Polish woman." Her English is poor and I though she was telling me my mother was in the hospital and "she was not good." I called the local hospital and asked for her room; she was not there; I then asked for my father's room and he was admitted.
It should not have neen a surprise to fund him in the hospital. Several years ago, he was diagnosed with colon cancer; after chemotherapy, it was stabilized but began to metastasize to bone . . .and then to his lungs . . . and now to his brain.
Three weeks ago, when I brought Jack to visit with me, he was fine. Tired at midday as he sometimes was but completely lucid. This past Tuesday, my brother called and asked for a phone number. 10 minutes later, no one was yet on the line and my brother hung up and drove to find out what had happened. He found Dad wondering outside with his cane saying, "I need to get farina for Mother."
He has become disoriented, As I visited, he could interrupt himself mid-sentence and sit quietly for a while, seeming to try to remember the word he was reaching for. My Daddy is almost gone. He has 3-6 months to live.
My mother may have Parkinson's. She has expeienced back pain for several years and is now spending most days asleep. As tough as she has been, she is not fighting; she has surrendered and is waiting for her inevitable ending.
My visit yesterday to Dad was hard. When I arrived, he was finishing dinner and his false teeth were out. I had only seen him that way once before and that was when he was post-op after the first colon cancer diagosis.
His mind is weakening. he stayed in his chair as we talked, asking the usual questions, "How's business? How's your boy?" The stuff he has asked me about thosands of times.
This time was different. He's close to death and we have so little time.
Again, I thanked him for being a good Dad and kissed him on the head that is betraying him. I have so little time.
And today, I prep for my colonoscopy tomorrow, my heart heavy because I have already lost them both.
