A father's life
Friday, June 25, 2004
I am soooo grateful.
Jack was crying in his sleep, kicking and unconsoleable by me. Thank goodness, Sharon was home. I was able to get him back to sleep last night . . .but not tonight.
I am soooo grateful.
Jack was crying in his sleep, kicking and unconsoleable by me. Thank goodness, Sharon was home. I was able to get him back to sleep last night . . .but not tonight.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Financially, things are getting better. The labor receession seems to be ending; I'm booking more business and starting to collect on deals I've done.
And, it's not enough.
I feel like I'm sacrificing myself for my family and need to get some balance into my life.
Saturday, we went to Nassau Colliseum to see a Dragon Tales show. A talented cast. The kids loved it and it gave me a chance to take a nap that I really needed.
It's summer and I've hardly been outdoors because each night I come home (but not last night) I'm in some way involved with Jack's care. I guess the real thing is that I don't have much "jeff time".
In two weeks, I go for re-certification to lead weekends. This Sunday, Jack and I visit Mom and Dad. My father is dying a slow death from colon cancer. He's taking a new drug to slow the growth of cancer cells. Every two weeks, he goes into the hospital and has the drug iv'd into his system. A rarely sleep much past 5AM.
Where is my life going now? Where do I want to steer it now?
Monday, June 07, 2004
Last night, I watched The Sopranos and went upstairs to relieve Sharon. She had kept Jack upstairs so I could have one hour with my favorite show and keep him away from the violence and (potential) nudity. She went to bed then, after all, she had been up with Jack for two cosecutive nigts and was exhausted.
We rolled a ball to one another and he played with blocks in his room and then said the magic words.
"I'm gonna build a Big Tower just like Daddy."
WOW! The things that touch my heart that come from his mouth.
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Welcome home, honey.
AS much fun as the past few days have been, nothing compaes to the feeling of Sharon's return from Manjushri where she attended a mediatation retreat led by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso. She left Thursday night and returned Monday at around 10:30.
I enjoyed the two days alone (jack statyed at Arline and Sol's home the first two nights . . . and I missed him while he was away. And nothng compares to the feeling of her return. Seeing her smile. I missed her alot.
So what I am reminded of is how much my family my life are entwined with me and my happiness . . . Thank goodness. And how supportive so many people are to me. Arline and Sol for putting Jack up those two nights, Mark and Robin for having a barbecue to have an activity for us while she was away, again Arline and Sol for having us over so that we could be closer to the airport to puck up Sharon. These are obvious ones to me.
And then Glenn showed up telling me that I had won the Ron Hering Award from New York for service and then sharing a story of his father's military service.
My father is having surgery tomorrow to make it possible for him to take a drug to help him extend his life. A nurse will administer it every other week. I don't knw how much longer I'll have him or my mother in my life. I appreciate the time we've shared the past few years.
There are many clients who have helped to sustain me these past few years of struggle.
I am a fotunate man.
