A father's life
Sunday, October 12, 2003
I just had a wonderful few moments with Jack.
As Sharon was putting him to sleep, I did my good night ritural. A kiss on the forhead, one on each cheek. One on his pacifier. Then he removes it and I kiss him on the lips.
I left and a few minutes later was asked to bring water to him. I came in with a sippy cup and gave him two more pacifiers. His eyes followed mine out of the room. It felt like mutual looks of love.
I know it was for me.
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
KIND WORDS
"I’ve Been Waiting For You My Entire Life!"
"The Greatest Act of Sensitive Kindness Ever Done For Me"
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.TraditionOfKindness.org
What I had hoped would be the happiest day of my life turned into the most painful. Two weeks prior to the day I was to be married, my fiancé broke off our engagement.
While many people offered words of encouragement, and one friend came over that morning to spend the day with me, it was one woman, who up to that point, was more of an acquaintance than a friend, who showed how caring a person could be.
Although I hardly knew her, she did more for me that day through her caring, her sensitivity and her actions than perhaps anyone else in my life. She also showed me how one person can not just feel another's pain, but be so sensitive and wise as to act on it in a productive and caring fashion.
Her phone call came at 8:30 that morning. I assumed that she called to give me the by now all too familiar "Be Strong" speech. But she was more interested in speaking to my than to me. My friend told me later that she had given him her credit card number and asked him to use it to go on a two or three day vacation with me.
Her astute understanding was that telling a person not to think about their pain is meaningless. She wanted me to get it off my mind by going out of town and getting involved in recreational activities. Other people empathized, but she felt my pain and acted. The beauty of her action was not the monetary generosity -- it was the caring -- it was feeling that another person cared for me on a day when I felt unloved and rejected. (In the end, we did go away, although we did not use her credit card.)
While the pains of that day and of that portion of my life have dimmed and faded (as the memory of pains do over time), the appreciation and the warmth that I feel toward this woman and her actions continues to grow. Her thoughts translated into actions continue to bring me great strength. They have acted as a model for me to emulate and served as a constant reminder of how meaningful our caring can be to others.
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"I’ve Been Waiting For You My Entire Life!"
From: Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By: Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
Every minor act of kindness is valuable and precious. But every once in a while you will have an opportunity to say or do something for someone about which they will be able to say to you, "I’ve been waiting for you my entire life."
A tool for making a major difference in someone’s life is to ask yourself, "What can I say or do for this person that he would say to me, "I’ve been waiting for you my entire life."?
Consider these examples from my students:
* I’ve heard a lot of criticism my entire life. I’ve been waiting for someone to tell me that they see my good qualities and strengths.
* I have a serious learning disability. I’ve been waiting for someone to find a way to help me make a major breakthrough in my learning.
* I’m very sensitive to criticism and insults. I’ve been waiting for someone to help me feel so good about myself that I can view criticism and insults objectively without pain. I would love to be able to learn from valid comments and to be able to ignore those that are mistaken.
* It’s taking me a long time to find a suitable marriage partner. I’ve been waiting for someone to make the right suggestion.
* I feel that I have talents and skills that have not yet been utilized. I’ve been waiting for the right coach my whole life.
* I have accomplished a lot. But I feel that I could go much further if I were to have someone who could take care of the logistics for me.
* I desperately need to lose weight. I have tried many diets and many plans. So far nothing has worked for me. I can’t do it alone. I need a coach who will stick with me while I experience my ups and downs.
* I don’t experience very much joy in my life. Short lectures and books don’t help me. I’ve been waiting for someone to train me to become more joyous. I need someone who will stick with me and reinforce the ideas I need to hear over and over again.
* I’ve been a doormat my entire life. I’ve been waiting for someone to teach me to speak up for myself.
* I feel discouraged about life. I’ve been waiting for someone to give me hope.
* I have always been indecisive. I’ve been waiting for someone to teach me to become more decisive.
* I have always been highly disorganized. I’ve been waiting for someone to help me become more organized.
* I have always been fearful around other people. I’ve been waiting for someone to help me feel more comfortable.
* I have always lacked ambition. I’ve been waiting for someone to help me become more ambitious.
* I have always procrastinated. I’m waiting for someone to make me more proactive.
* I have always been waiting for someone to help me in some important way. But I don’t even know what I am waiting for. I’m certain I’ll recognize it when it happens. I am ultimately waiting for someone who knows me better than I know myself or at least who is aware of opportunities that I am as yet unaware of.
